CustodyBuddy's Podcast
Custody Buddy Podcast: Turning Struggles into Strength
Navigating a custody battle or co-parenting challenges? The Custody Buddy Podcast is your supportive companion, offering practical advice, emotional guidance, and expert insights to empower parents through every step of post-separation life. From the importance of proper documentation to managing mental health and building resilience, we dive deep into the topics that matter most. Join us as we explore real-life stories, interview legal experts, and provide actionable tips to help you protect your rights and build a stable future for you and your children. Whether you’re documenting incidents, co-parenting, or preparing for court, this podcast is here to inspire and uplift you on your journey.
Tune in to turn your struggles into strength. Your story is powerful – let’s share it with the world.
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CustodyBuddy's Podcast
Maintaining Sobriety and Sanity During Custody Battles with a Narcissistic Ex
🎙 Custody Buddy Podcast: Empowerment Through Sobriety and Support 🎙
Navigating a custody battle is hard enough, but add in the challenges of sobriety, narcissistic exes, and domestic violence, and it can feel impossible. That’s where the Custody Buddy Podcast steps in – a safe space where we tackle the emotional and legal rollercoasters of custody, co-parenting, and personal recovery.
Hosted by advocates who get it, we dive deep into real-life strategies like understanding a narcissist’s “playbook,” setting ironclad boundaries, and documenting everything to protect your rights. Through candid conversations, expert insights, and inspiring stories, you’ll learn how to stay grounded and empowered, even when the pressure is high.
Whether you’re seeking guidance on how to communicate with your lawyer, stay steady in the courtroom, or simply protect your sobriety and well-being amidst the chaos, we’ve got your back. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
Join us for actionable tips, emotional support, and the reminder that you’re not alone. Your strength and resilience are your superpowers – let's use them together. 💪💙
Learn More: https://custodybuddy.com/
Wow, this is heavy stuff you're dealing with. Custody battles are no joke, and when you're trying to stay sober on top of it all, that takes serious guts.
Speaker 2:It really does.
Speaker 1:And the sources you sent over. They really paint a picture. You know, dealing with a narcissistic ex trying to prep for court without falling back into old habits, and then like the whole thing with substance abuse and domestic violence. It all gets so messy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what strikes me is is how much all of these issues they all kind of they weave together. You know what I mean. They're like, um, each source is like a different angle on the same situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, it's like looking through a kaleidoscope right. Each turn shows you something new, but it's all connected.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So let's I guess let's start with this idea of a narcissist's playbook that really jumped out from one of the sources and I know playbook might sound a little, you know, a little abstract.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But basically imagine your ex showing up to this whole custody thing with like a preplannedanned strategy.
Speaker 2:You know like they're trying to manipulate and control the whole situation yeah, especially in court, exactly, and it's all about about power for them. You know they they have this need to control the narrative, to maintain this certain image and oftentimes to just completely throw you off balance it's like they're playing chess and you're you're just trying to figure out checkers.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean right exactly so knowing their tactics, it's like it's like having, it's like they're playing chess and you're just trying to figure out checkers. You know what I mean, right, exactly. So knowing their tactics, it's like having the cheat codes to the game. So, from the source, what are some of these plays? What's in this playbook?
Speaker 2:Well, three big ones come to mind, especially when we're talking about a custody battle, One pushing your buttons.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Two, undermining your credibility as a parent, like at every turn.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:And three, the constant chipping away at your self-doubt. They know how to get in your head. Oh yeah. And what makes it even trickier? They do it so deliberately. You know it's not an accident and think about it. You're already dealing with the stress of the legal system, the emotional roller coaster of separation, and on top of it all you're trying to stay sober. It's a lot.
Speaker 1:It's like they're taking all the things that make you strong and trying to use them against you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. They see your commitment to sobriety, your vulnerability during this time and they try to twist it to paint you as unstable or unreliable. That's why the source is all about documentation.
Speaker 1:Yes, they don't just mention it.
Speaker 2:They hammer it home Like there's this whole story about a mom who tracked, like everything we're talking dates, times, specific incidents and she called it her timeline of triumph, basically her weapon against manipulation.
Speaker 1:That's brilliant, and it's not about stooping to their level. It's about having concrete proof to shut those manipulations down.
Speaker 2:So less reacting, more documenting, got it.
Speaker 1:Exactly. And another thing boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, boundaries.
Speaker 1:This source even suggested, like, limiting contact to written communication if you have to.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:I know it sounds extreme but honestly, for some people it's the only way to stay sane. You're not letting them control the conversation. You're setting the terms.
Speaker 2:It's about taking back control like saying this is how we communicate. Now take it or leave it exactly. And I know it might feel strange at first, maybe even a little scary, but setting those clear boundaries it can be so empowering, especially when you're trying to figure out co-parenting with someone who thrives on chaos.
Speaker 1:You know it's funny because when we talk about boundaries, it's almost like we're talking about protecting something precious.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that actually makes me think about the whole sobriety thing. It's like when you're in a custody battle, it's easy to feel like sobriety is just another thing you have to worry about.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But the sources we have, they say it's actually like your superpower.
Speaker 2:It's true. It really is about making the best decisions you know for you, for your kids. It's about showing up as the best parent you can be.
Speaker 1:And one source even said something like sobriety isn't about deprivation, it's about being the parent you always wanted to be.
Speaker 2:It's so true, and it's not just about the kids either. When you're prioritizing your sobriety, it shows, I don't know, like a commitment to personal growth, stability that resonates with everyone, even the court.
Speaker 1:It's like you're putting in the work not just for the case, but for yourself.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:So how can someone someone listening right now build that I don't know that fortress of sobriety when everything around them feels like it's falling apart?
Speaker 2:Well, all the sources seem to agree. You don't have to do it alone.
Speaker 1:Oh, the support system.
Speaker 2:Right, right yeah.
Speaker 1:Having people who get it a therapist, a friend, a support group, it makes a world of difference.
Speaker 2:It's like having backup Right. They've got your back when you need it most.
Speaker 1:Exactly and don.
Speaker 2:One of the sources called it emotional armor, which I love Taking care of yourself, like exercise or meditation or just doing something you enjoy. It's like putting on that armor.
Speaker 1:So we're talking bubble baths, long walks, that pottery class you've been wanting to try.
Speaker 2:Exactly and it's not selfish. It's how you recharge, so you can handle everything else. And of course, don't let those recovery practices slip.
Speaker 1:Right, the meetings, therapy, whatever keeps you grounded. It's like a routine you know keeps you steady. Exactly, Speaking of steady, what about those moments when things feel anything but steady, like when you feel yourself getting triggered? Any advice from the sources on handling those landmines?
Speaker 2:Well, they all agree on this one have a plan Be prepared right. Yes, Know your triggers, Like is it interacting with your ex? Is it the lead up to a court date? Then have a strategy a calming activity, calling a friend, repeating a mantra, whatever works for you.
Speaker 1:It's like having that emotional armor, but like polished and ready to go right Be prepared. Okay, so we've got our armor, our support system, but what about communication? I mean especially with your lawyer and in court? I'm guessing sobriety plays a huge role there, right, it's like all that work you put into getting sober it's like it really plays off when you need those communication skills the most.
Speaker 2:It's true. One of the sources even said something like when you're sober, you can actually, you know, tell your lawyer what you need, what you're thinking, and you can listen to their advice without well, you know, Without the fog. Exactly. You're not letting substances cloud your judgment.
Speaker 1:You're present.
Speaker 2:You're present. And that builds trust, you know, with your lawyer.
Speaker 1:They see you're taking this seriously.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it strengthens that whole attorney client thing. You know it's huge.
Speaker 1:It's like you're saying, hey, I'm here, I'm present, I'm ready to work.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that that same energy. It's so important when you step into the courtroom, which, let's be honest, can be terrifying.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely. One of the sources talked about this woman, sarah, who used, like journaling and yoga, and even meditation to get ready for her court date.
Speaker 2:I love that because it's not about pretending you're not nervous, right, it's about finding that inner peace.
Speaker 1:That centeredness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you can handle those big feelings.
Speaker 1:Because, let's be real, facing a narcissistic ex in court. That's going to bring up some stuff.
Speaker 2:For sure. But if you can stay, you know, calm and focused on what you want, it makes a huge difference.
Speaker 1:You're not letting them control you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And speaking of control, there's this other thing that kept coming up in the sources that I think we need to talk about the whole substance abuse, and domestic violence connection.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's heavy stuff.
Speaker 2:It is and it might feel, I don't know, maybe a little uncomfortable to think about.
Speaker 1:Like how does this apply to me?
Speaker 2:Right, exactly. But honestly, when you're dealing with custody, especially with a narcissistic ex, chances are it's part of the story, maybe directly, maybe not.
Speaker 1:And one of the sources even said that like 40% to 60% of these cases involve substance abuse, either by the victim or the abuser.
Speaker 2:It's a lot more common than people realize. And it's not about blaming anyone. It's about you know, seeing the patterns, protecting yourself, protecting your kids.
Speaker 1:And breaking those cycles.
Speaker 2:Exactly so as we're, you know, kind of wrapping up here, the thing that really sticks with me I don't know about you, but it's this Self-care. It's not selfish.
Speaker 1:It's essential.
Speaker 2:It's essential. You've got to take care of yourself to be able to take care of everything else you know.
Speaker 1:It's the foundation.
Speaker 2:Exactly so I'm curious what's one thing, just one small thing, that you can do this week for yourself. Maybe it's that walk you've been putting off, maybe it's a long bath, I don't know. But put it in your calendar.
Speaker 1:Like it's a meeting with your.